


Moominvalley In December

by duckweed_and_pondscum



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Autistic Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Different Love Languages, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Longing, M/M, Nightmares, Sickfic, Slow Burn, So much tenderness, Tenderness, Winter, Yearning, bed sharing, betaed but unfortunately we're both illiterate, coffee as an expression of love, emotions TM, i guess, light fluff, not super obvious tho, only in the exposition, shenanigans and longing, they're both so repressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24589357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckweed_and_pondscum/pseuds/duckweed_and_pondscum
Summary: It was autumn, and any day now, Snufkin would head south. That was how it was, and had always been, and this winter would be no different. Well, that was before the little mishap.
Relationships: Mumintrollet | Moomintroll & Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Mumintrollet | Moomintroll/Snusmumriken | Snufkin
Comments: 27
Kudos: 112





	1. Boats and Birds

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to Alex, you don't even go here but your emotional responses fed my soul.

The sky was blue, and Moomintroll was mad. He was mad because it was a bright and beautiful day, one of his last with Snufkin, and he couldn’t even enjoy it properly. The two were on a walk, brilliant leaves and crunching footfalls, yet Moomintroll was still upset. Snufkin must have noticed, because he remarked, “this walk is lovely, but haven’t we gone on a walk every day? We walked yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. Perhaps today we should make leaf boats before the season passes.” 

The air was cold, and Moomintroll shivered a little. Snufkin didn’t seem to mind though, suppose that was one of the perks of wearing clothes. 

“Snufkin, aren’t you cold?” Moomintroll asked. 

“Oh, I’m positively freezing” he replied cheerfully. 

“... but you’re smiling”

“Naturally.”

Moomintroll wanted to ask why, but for some reason he felt too cowed to do it. 

The pair walked along in near silence. Occasionally Moomintroll would point out a nice looking apple or a creep hiding in the bushes, and Snufkin would hum in agreement. Gradually, Moomin felt his mood lighten. Being out in the forest, just him and Snufkin, it was exhilarating. Before very long, Moomin had forgotten about the impending winter, at least for now, and he was very content to stay this way. 

It seemed like a very short hour, but was in fact probably twenty minutes, by the time they got to the pond. Snufkin reached up and plucked a leaf from one of the low hanging branches of a tree, sat down on the bank, and set to work. Moomintroll hovered about awkwardly, not sure what to do. 

“Well? Sit down then, Moomin” Snufkin said as he fiddled with a twig. 

“Oh, but Snuf, the ground is so very muddy, and you know how much my fur stains…” 

Wordlessly, still without looking away from the twig, Snufkin pulled off his coat and set it on the ground beside him. Stunned, Moomintroll just stood there, and Snufkin patted the coat. Shaking his head fondly, Moomintroll sat down beside Snufkin. 

For a while neither of them spoke, both simply soaking in each other’s presence. Snufkin continued working on his leaf boat, and Moomintroll simply enjoyed the view (of the pond. The view of the pond). They really were quite close to the pond. Moomintroll barely had to lean over to see his reflection, wreathed in orange leaves against the blue of the sky. Overhead, a single bird flew past them, indifferent to Moomin’s longing. Soon enough, Snufkin finished his boat. He set it in the water, sending little ripples through pond-Moomintroll’s face. Abruptly, he started speaking. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“WHAT?!?” Moomintroll snapped his head over to Snufkin so fast he almost fell over. 

“The weather’ll be changing any day now. If I don’t leave soon, the valley might get snowed in.” 

“Yes, but so soon?!?”

“Moomintroll, it’s going to be a big snow this year-”

“Yes, but surely you have more time!?! Why, remember one year you had waited until it was already snowing!”

“Weather changes-”

“But why now, Snufkin?!? Why on our last walk of the year?!”

At that, Snufkin just sighed. 

“I thought it best to tell you”

Much to his dismay, Moomintroll felt tears prickling in the corner of his eyes, despite being far too old to cry over anything, much less a yearly, temporary goodbye. Wiping furiously at his traitorous eyes, he sprang up from the muddy coat and started to run. 

“Moomintroll, wait!” Snufkin shouted, scrambling up after his fleeing friend. But the heel of his boot caught in the mud, and he slipped, fell, and slid right down the bank and into the cold, clear pond. 

Moomintroll was dashing through the forest, still trying desperately not to cry, when he heard the shout. He recognized the voice instantly of course, and embarrassed though he was, this was Snufkin and Moomintroll would never ignore him if he was in trouble. 

When he got back to the pond, what he saw was a thoroughly soaked and utterly shocked looking Snufkin sitting in the shallows of the pond, white shirt covered in sediment. 

Carefully adjusting his footing so that he didn’t fall in as well, Moomin reached out a paw and helped his friend up. Snufkin was trembling slightly, and Moomin’s brow creased in worry. 

“Snuf, are you okay?” 

Snufkin just grunted. Moomin, unsure how to respond, handed Snufkin his coat wordlessly. Snufkin stuffed his arm through the sleeve and slung an arm around Moomin, and together the two of them trudged back to Moominhouse. 

Snorkmaiden was reading a book on the parlor couch as the boys got in, with Little My perched on her head. Both seemed quite comfortable in this arrangement, and were the circumstances any different Moomintroll would have chuckled. 

“Oh hello,” Snorkmaiden said absently, not looking up from her novel. 

Little My raised an eyebrow at the pair. “Looks like you two had fun” she said sarcastically (Or was it? One could never tell with Little My if she was being sarcastic or not). 

“Have a nice walk dears?” Mamma asked as she bustled in. Then she took one look at them, puffy red eyes, pallid face, and muddy coat, said nothing, and went to put the kettle on. 

-*-*-*-

Moomintroll was surprised Snufkin had lasted that long inside, really. But it was still quite unwise to be dashing back to the bridge after only an hour by the fire. 

“Snufkin, are you sure it’s a good idea to be going outside so soon?” Moomintroll had asked him after a sneezing fit while lacing up his boots. Snufkin had, of course, responded with “I’m fine, Moomintroll,” but it hadn’t been convincing, because he was still sniffling from his fit. Moomintroll watched him go anyway. He wanted to join Snufkin, but it felt awkward after this morning. He only wished that they wouldn’t be parting on such an awkward note. 

The next morning, Moomintroll woke up just as the sun was making its way timidly into the sky. He knew Snufkin liked to leave early in the morning, and this year would be no exception. They stood silently on the bridge, not quite sure what to say to each other. Moomintroll, as usual, broke the silence first. 

“So… I guess this is goodbye,” he said, barely biting back the “again” that was on his tongue. Snufkin said nothing, just looked at his own paws, and then at Moomin’s, before reaching out to give them a quick squeeze. 

“I’ll be back on the first day of spring. You’ll barely have time to miss me. Besides, you’ll be asleep most of it.”

Oh. Right. He still hadn’t told Snufkin about his troubles hibernating. 

He was still pondering whether or not it was worth it to disclose it when Snufkin looked up at the sky and said “well, best be going then.” 

“Right,” said Moomintroll awkwardly. And then he went back to Moominhouse to mope. 

At lunchtime, Moomin pushed his plate away after a good bit spent playing with his peas. Then he went and slumped across the couch, staring at the cloudy sky. 

Little My scoffed. “No wonder Snufkin left,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

“My!” Moominmamma admonished, but Moomintroll’s ears drooped anyway. 

“What? Serves the big lug right. You know Snufkin can’t stand attention. That oaf probably scared him away, what with how he spends all his time mooning after-“

“Moominmamma! Moominmamma!” Sniff burst through the door, clearly in distress.

“Hey! I was talking here!” Little My hollered

But nobody paid her any mind, because while Sniff was highly unlikely to have any matter of real importance, it was bound to be much more exciting than Moomintroll’s winter depression. 

“It’s Snufkin!”

Okay, so maybe he might have a matter of importance. 

“He’s fallen on the path up the mountain! Mister Hemulen’s there now but he’s unconscious!” 

Moomintroll was out the door before Sniff was even finished. 

-*-*-*-

“Moomintroll! Rock on your left!”

Moomintroll turned around to see what he was about to trip over and almost dropped Snufkin, his right arm dragging on the ground.

Snorkmaiden, who was holding his legs, shrieked as Moomintroll uttered a string of words that Snufkin would surely have been appalled at had he been conscious. 

“Stupid beanpole… stubby legs… why… shoulda been shorter… coulda tossed him over my shoulder… potato sack” Moomintroll muttered as he readjusted Snufkin in his arms. 

Little My was sitting on the veranda when they got back, mischief entirely gone for once and face stony. “Moominmamma’s prepared the room facing east, it’s all set up for him,” she said, and was that a touch of fear he heard in her voice? 

They maneuvered up the stairs, Moomintroll only bumping his head once (“honestly Moomintroll, you’re such a klutz,” Snorkmaiden had said)

“He’ll be okay, right mamma?” Moomin had asked, standing at the bedside and looking at his unconscious friend’s face. 

“Of course, dear,” mamma had reassured him, “just needs a warm room and a cool washcloth” 

Moomin had known that already. He didn’t quite know why he needed to ask. 

“I’m going downstairs to make some soup, will you be okay up here?” 

“Yes mamma”

“And remember to change the washcloth if it gets warm”

“I know mamma” 

“And I’m here if you need me, you know that right?”

“I’m fine mamma” 

And then it was just Moomin and Snufkin, alone in the room. And Moomin felt more lonely and small than he did alone in his room in the winter. 

He whispered “don’t worry, Snufkin. You’re gonna be fine. I’ll make sure of it,”, but he felt silly, so he stopped. 

Moomin sat in silence for a few minutes, watching Snufkin and fidgeting with his tail. Snufkin looked so small and frail, lying still in a bed, that it was hard to reconcile him with the capable, independent explorer Moomin knew.

After twenty minutes of this (it was actually five, but Moomin didn’t know this), Moomintroll pressed a hand to Snufkin‘s face to check on him. His forehead was warm. Or was that Moomintroll’s hand? Moomintroll’s eyes began to water. He shook his head. He supposed he was practically alone, but it still felt weird to cry in front of Snufkin. He busied himself with changing the compress. 

Moominmamma brought in the soup. Moomintroll took the spoon in his hand and looked at Snufkin’s lips. A lump formed in his throat and his hands started to shake. The spoon sploshed and Moomintroll gasped, looking down at his normally white fur now stained various shades of brown by mud and soup. Shakily, he excused himself and went to the bathroom, to cry as he cleaned his messy fur. 

-*-*-*-

Sitting in a wooden chair, Moomintroll saw his eyesight go blurry. Gently slapping himself on the snout, he shook himself awake. Dark bags had started to gather under his eyes, clashing harshly with his fur. Snufkin still hadn’t woken up, and Moomintroll felt rather foolish for staying up through the night. Snorkmaiden had rolled her eyes at him and Little My had called him “a smitten, cotton-headed fool”, but mamma hadn’t objected, so no one was really able to stop him. Oh, Snufkin would have been so lonely and confused if he had awoken in a dark Moominhouse with nobody else around! So Moomin stared at the wall, pondering how odd it was to see Snufkin tucked into a bed with four sturdy walls around him and a hard wooden floor below. Outside, the snow started to fall, white and silent as Moomintroll’s face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins...
> 
> I'm @ragabond on tumblr, feel free to come yell at me about moomins


	2. Blue Lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winter has arrived in Moominvalley, just in time for Summer!

The snow was falling thick and heavy in Moominvalley, with no sign of stopping. The valley was completely dark, house after house filled with sleeping residents and empty windows. But up on the hill in the middle of the valley sat a tall blue house with two lit rooms; the kitchen, and the second floor room with a window to the east. A bowl of pine needles sat uneaten on the kitchen table, with a note in loopy, messy cursive, “you can both eat these and go to bed as soon as he wakes up, dear”. A young Moomintroll was at the stove, making coffee and humming a slow, soft tune. There was no rhythm or reason to it, but he didn’t mind. His mind was entirely elsewhere, and besides, he was not the one with the musical talent. 

-*-*-*-

Two days ago, the house had been a bustle of activity. Furniture had been put into dust jackets, pine needles heated and ladled into seven bowls, with two set aside, and soppy goodnights said. A Moominmamma was fussing over her son, and every time he thought he had finally put her mind to rest, thirteen minutes later she’d be back with an entirely new worry. 

“There’s pre-prepped meals in the larder, dear!”

“I’ll be fine, mamma!”

“And you know I don’t mind you eating the jam that’s in cellar, should you run out of meals”

“Mamma, I haven’t hibernated fully in  _ years _ !”

“Oh dear, I do hope I haven’t miscalculated the amount of food you’ll need,” 

At this, Moomintroll gave up trying to convince her and just resigned himself to being fussed over for the last hour of Mamma’s winter. 

Dinner had been odd, with five people eating pine needles and one eating potatoes. Little My had eyed the potatoes enviously, grumbling as she shoveled another bland mouthful of spikes into her mouth. Moominpappa made a speech about the travails of spending winter without your beloved, a speech he hadn’t made any years before. Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden shifted uncomfortably, while My snickered softly (no one had told Moominpappa yet, you see). 

As Snorkmaiden had put on her cloak (Moomins and snorks never wear coats, you see, much too tight and constricting), she had kissed him on the cheek and told him to take care. 

“Don’t wear yourself too thin, Moomintroll,”

“I won’t, don’t worry,” he assured her. 

She had simply smiled, and there was something sad and wistful behind her eyes. “That’s never true when he’s involved, and we both know it.”

She did not mention who “he” was. She did not need to. They both knew well enough. 

And with that, Snorkmaiden and Sniff had headed out into the night, Moominpappa, Moominmamma, and Little My to bed, and Moomin up to the guest room facing east. 

-*-*-*-

Snufkin slowly opened one eye, and then the other. He had been having a dream, but he didn’t know if it was a good one. Come to think of it, he didn’t really remember anything from it. He stared at the ceiling. Wait, the ceiling? Sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes, Snufkin looked around the room. He was in Moominhouse. Moomintroll sat dozing in a chair by the bedside, and Snufkin smiled fondly at him. He looked tired, and his fur was disheveled. Next to Moomintroll on the bedside table, there were two cold cups of coffee, his hat, and a candle that had long since burnt out. Moomintroll must have been here a while. Dear, sweet Moomintroll. But wait… wouldn’t Moominmamma have checked in? Snufkin’s breath hitched as he felt the bottom fall out from his stomach. Walking on cat feet so as not to disturb his friend, Snufkin got up and padded over to the window. Against the darkness of night, Snufkin saw his reflection turn ashen grey, and a whimper just managed to escape his throat. 

-*-*-*-

When Moomintroll awoke, the bed was empty and the hat gone from the nightstand. Oh. Oh no. Moomin sprang out of the chair and bounded down the stairs, hoping to find that Snufkin was just in the kitchen getting a bite to eat. 

That was not the case. A quick glance into the kitchen confirmed his suspicions, as Snufkin’s coat and scarf were still by the stove where Moominmamma had warmed them up the day Snufkin had passed out. Pressing his snout against the window by the front door, Moomin saw Snufkin struggling through over a foot of snow in an attempt to reach his campsite. Moomin swore under his breath. That fool was going to get himself killed! Without a second thought, Moomintroll threw open the door, plowing through several inches of snow and sending some cascading over the threshold. He looked at the snow guilty for a second, but then quickly shook his head. That was a problem for later. 

Moomintroll quickly caught up to Snufkin, having several years of experience walking through harsh valley winters to aid him. He loudly called Snufkin’s name, and Snufkin turned to look at him. 

“Snufkin! What  _ are _ you doing?!?” Moomintroll cried. 

Snufkin just pursed his lips, which were blue with cold, and turned his attention back to the camp. Moomintroll scowled. Okay, they were gonna have to do this the hard way. Bounding over to Snufkin, Moomin threw his arms around the mumrik. 

“Wha-“ Snufkin squeaked. 

With a grunt of exertion, Moomin lifted him into the air. Snufkin was not amused, to put it lightly. 

“Let me go!” He howled, thrashing his arms and legs wildly. 

“Not until you promise to come back to Moominhouse!” 

“No!” Snufkin shouted, and his arm smacked Moomintroll square in the nose. 

Moomin fell over, shocked, and let go of Snufkin. Snufkin scrambled to his feet, but Moomin wasn’t about to let him get away that easily. Lunging towards him, Moomintroll tackled Snufkin to the ground, pinning Snufkin beneath him. 

“Snufkin, this is insane! You’re not even wearing your coat!” 

Snufkin snarled at him, and Moomintroll flinched. Snufkin’s eyes widened in shock as he realized what he had done. Moomin took advantage of Snufkin’s stunned silence to speak again. 

“Snufkin, I-“ and then he began to cry. 

Snufkin didn’t know what to do as tears fell from his friend’s eyes and splashed onto his cheeks, cooling rapidly against his skin. He just lay there for a few seconds before gently nudging Moomintroll off of him and sitting up. The two just sat there in the snow, Snufkin’s hand hovering awkwardly near Moomintroll’s shoulder as he cried. Eventually, Snufkin got to his feet and extended his arm out to Moomintroll. Moomin accepted his paw, and the two of them trudged silently back to Moominhouse. 

-*-*-*-

Snufkin fidgeted uncomfortably with the broom handle as he watched from the front door while Moomintroll struggled to pack up his tent. He moved to go help Moomin, but then thought better of it. He did hope Moomin wouldn’t be too mad at him. Preoccupied, he pushed the broom around and accidentally swept more snow into the house. He gave a little huff and turned his attention back to the sweeping. Eventually, Moomin turned and clambered awkwardly back to Moominhouse, a half deconstructed tent in his hands. Feet wriggling nervously, Snufkin tugged his hat lower over his face as Moomin approached. Moomintroll walked past him, and then stopped. Snufkin’s breath snared in his chest. 

“Snufkin?” Moomintroll asked, and Snufkin swallowed nervously. Slowly, he peered out from under his hat, anxious about the angry look that would no doubt be on his usually good tempered friend’s face. But instead, Moomintroll just looked… exhausted. And that was somehow worse. Snufkin tried to say he was sorry, because he really was so, so sorry, but the words got caught against the lump in his throat. Moomintroll sighed. It was a soft sigh, but a long one, like it went down to the tips of his toes. 

Then Moomin straightened his back and said in a forced cheer that really wasn’t convincing at all, “well! Let’s both get some rest.” 

So Moomintroll helped Snufkin carry his things to the room facing east, trudged up to his bedroom, and then promptly fell asleep before he could even pull the covers over himself. 

-*-*-*-

Alone in the guest bedroom, Snufkin lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His last thoughts were about how uncomfortable beds were, and how much he hated being in one, and how he would never fall asleep in one. Then there were no more thoughts, as Snufkin drifted off into a fitful sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated
> 
> As always, I'm @3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat on tumblr!


	3. White Winter Hymnal

With a jolt of pain, Snufkin awoke to his face smushed against the wooden floor of Moominhouse’s guest bedroom. He sat up and rubbed his head. It was… quiet. Very quiet. And not in a good way. Normally he liked quiet, just him, his thoughts, and the ambient noises. But tonight, his thoughts were not something he wanted to be alone with, and there were no ambient noises, unless you could count the ringing in his ears. It was all dreadfully, painfully silent. Oh, Snufkin did deteste houses. Or maybe this was just winter. No wonder Moomins hibernated. 

Snufkin crept up the stairs, wincing every time the stairs creaked. Pausing outside Moomin’s door, he could hear dear Moomintroll snoring softly inside. Snufkin went back to grab his bedroll, then slowly pushed open the door, spread it out on the floor, and laid down. He felt his eyes grow heavy, and as he fell asleep his breathing kept tempo with Moomin’s. 

-*-*-*-

Moomintroll awoke to weak sunlight in the winter morning. He stretched, yawning, then got up, and promptly tripped over the sleeping body of his best friend. 

“Ow,” he groaned weakly. 

They were both awake now. “Good morning Moomintroll,” Snufkin said simply, as if that at all explained what he was doing in Moomin’s room. Moomintroll told him as much. At this, Snufkin actually looked a little bashful. 

“The house is too quiet,” he admitted. He got up and walked over to the window, letting out a low whistle at what he saw. The snowstorm had finally stopped, but not before leaving almost three feet of snow. Moomintroll knew from experience that it would not be the last. He rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Yeah, we, ah, get a lot of snow in the valley,” he said. 

“Can we… go out in it?” Snufkin asked timidly. 

“I don’t see why not” replied Moomintroll. 

And out they went, and Snufkin was wearing his coat this time. 

-*-*-*-

The snow was brilliant and blinding, and it was the deepest Snufkin had ever seen. It must be something about Moominvalley that made the snow just  _ collect _ like this, because they didn’t have anything of the like even a mere ten miles to the south. Deep in thought, Snufkin took a step forward, and fell over. Both of them froze, surprised. Then Moomintroll started giggling softly. Snufkin pushed himself back up again and stuck his tongue out playfully at his friend. 

Still giggling, Moomintroll said “oh brave adventurer, what a clever move that was! Oh I hope you wouldn’t mind teaching it to a simple country boy such as myself!” 

“Oh do forgive me, for not all of us can navigate the terrain of our native land with such ease as you,” Snufkin said mock-huffily, and the air he put on would have been very convincing had he not been grinning widely. He put up his nose and took another step, then another, before he fell over yet again. 

By this point, Moomintroll was doubled over with laughter. 

“Oh, Snufkin!” he cried, putting out his arm, “Here, take my paw! Moominvalley winters take some getting used to!” 

Snufkin’s brow wrinkled. How acclimated could one  _ get _ while hibernating? But he took Moomintroll’s paw anyway, and the two stumbled along.

They were still out there when the sun started to set. That didn’t mean anything, of course, because the sun sets very early in the winter, when there still is a sun to set. But Snufkin looked at Moomin and knew it was time to go in anyway. The troll was shivering erratically in the cold air, and Snufkin could hear his teeth chattering loudly. He laughed, and said “now who needs to get adjusted?” 

Moomintroll didn’t answer, just pointed a shaky finger at Snufkin’s hands. Snufkin looked down, confused. What was wrong with his fingers? Oh. They were purple.

“Perhaps we’d better head back then,” he said.

-*-*-*-

The fire in the fireplace was very cozy, but privately Snufkin preferred a campfire beneath the starry expanse of night. That said, sitting on the couch with Moomin like this, just the two of them engaged in comfortable silence and warm cider, it was rather nice. Snufkin took a long sip from his mug and sighed. Moomin hazarded a glance over at his friend. Snufkin had his eyes closed, and firelight reflected off his hair, tinting it a vivid, wild red. He looked content, more relaxed than Moomin had ever seen him indoors before. He blinked one eye open lazily and caught Moomintroll’s gaze with a soft smile. Moomintroll looked away hurriedly, very glad for the firelight splashed across his face, as it hid his furious blush. 

“Why’re there pine needles on the kitchen table?” 

“Hm? Oh, Moomins eat them every winter before hibernating,” 

“I know that. But why’re they here?” 

“What do you mean, Snuf?” 

“Why haven’t you eaten them yet? I’m awake now. Why aren’t you hibernating?”

Moomin gave a small, fond smile. “Someone’s gotta watch out for you,” He didn’t bother to tell Snufkin that pine needles would only buy him a little time. 

Snufkin gave a little  _ harrumph _ , and they lapsed back into silence. 

When the cider was gone, Snufkin stood up and stretched, a satisfying  _ crack _ coming from his back. Moomintroll drained the last dregs from his mug and followed Snufkin up the stairs. His heart fell when Snufkin opened the door to the room facing east, but Moomin shook off his pesky emotions.  _ Don’t be unkind, _ he thought.  _ Snufkin’s had a nasty jolt these past couple of days. He needs his space. _

As Moomintroll woke up the next morning, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at the floor. He smiled as he saw a messy head of auburn hair, fast asleep on a bedroll. 

-*-*-*-

It was a few weeks later when Snufkin abruptly announced, “I want to see the ocean.” Moomintroll supposed that was coming. 

“Okay! And we’ll go see Too-Ticky in the bathhouse!” 

Snufkin wrinkled his nose. Why would Too-Ticky be in the bathhouse? It just didn’t make sense. 

The path down to the beach was beautiful, but Snufkin wasn’t paying attention. His head was too full of thoughts of bathhouses and snowfall and hibernation. 

As they neared the ocean, Snufkin’s breath caught in his chest. The whole sea, it was frozen! One solid sheet of ice! They walked along the dock, Snufkin relishing in finally being able to hear his footfall. Moomin knocked on the door, and they waited. And waited. Snufkin began to feel rather silly on Moomin’s behalf, to have been so wildly wrong. Suddenly, Moomin dragged Snufkin back off the dock and onto the frozen ocean. Snufkin took a tentative step onto the ice and tested his weight. It held firm, and he took another step. 

“See! It’s great-“ Moomintroll said, just before his feet flew out from under him and he landed squarely on his bottom.

Snufkin slid over to him and chuckled as Moomin grumbled. 

“Stupid son of a- a cat! So goddamn good at everything…” 

Snufkin laughed and helped his friend up. And oh, that laugh! Moomintroll would fall a hundred times if it meant he got to hear that laugh. The laughter floated across the frozen sea, and down through a hole in the ice, where it reached the ears of Too-Ticky. 

“Hallo, Moomin! Down here!” She called out. 

Snufkin was so startled, he jumped several inches in the air, and this time it was his turn to fall gracelessly onto the ice. Moomin laughed so hard he fell over again, which caused Snufkin to laugh harder, and for a little it was just two boys, clutching their sides as they lay on a frozen ocean. And there was no long sleepless winter ahead of them, just a clear white day and a hysterical fit of laughter. 

Eventually Snufkin got to his feet on shaky legs, and helped Moomin up, and they went over to the hole and underneath the sea. 

-*-*-*-

“Hello, Moomin! Up again this year I see,” Too-Ticky said jovially. 

Snufkin opened his mouth, a question on his lips, but then snapped it shut again. Not now. Not with her. Too-Ticky caught his eye briefly, but if she knew what he was thinking she didn’t show it. And then she looked away, and everything was uncannily, excruciatingly still. No fish. No talking. No movement. Everything was as frozen as the ice above them. 

Eventually Too-Ticky got a bite. The fish was a decent size, but surely not worthy of an entire haul. Still, she threw it in the bucket and said “well, i better see to these.” 

And yet again, it was just Moomin and Snufkin, alone. 

There was silence, and then Snufkin asked, “Is it true?”

“Is what true?” 

“What Too-Ticky said. That you haven’t slept.”

Moomin fidgeted with his tail. 

“...Yes,” he admitted

There was a long pause, and then Snufkin asked, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“I… I didn't want to worry you.”

“Moomintroll... “ Snufkin began gently, “You are my dearest friend. And I care about you. You can tell me when something is wrong, you know? Always.”

And usually he did. This time must be different, for reasons Snufkin didn’t want to think about. But that night, as Snufkin lay on his bedroll and watched his friend toss and turn, he couldn’t help but think back to that conversation earlier. And when Moomin awoke that night, he found that there was a worn green tent erected in his room. 

After that, Snufkin began (officially) sleeping in Moomintroll’s room. Moomintroll would miss waking up to Snufkin’s hair glinting in the weak morning light, but knowing for certain that Snufkin was right there, mere steps away, was well worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always aprecciated! As always, I'm @3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat on tumblr dot com.


	4. Line Without a Hook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last lull chapter, then we get into plot I promise.

A shout filled the air, and Snufkin bolted upright. Hurriedly fumbling the zipper on his tent, he scrambled out into the bedroom, Moomintroll was- still asleep? 

Snufkin stood there for a minute, confused, as the adrenaline drained out of him. Then Moomintroll whimpered, and Snufkin realized what was happening: Moomintroll was having night terrors. But why only in winter? What’s so different- oh. 

Guilty and tired, Snufkin crawled back into his tent, curled up, and shut his eyes. 

-*-*-*-

Snowflakes had started to fall again, and while it had been fun at first, and pretty to look at, the storm had soon picked up speed, relegating the boys to Moominhouse. It was the third day of snow, and Moomin was worried. Snufkin had been asleep for the first snow, but now he was awake, and could be stuck inside a house for weeks on end. How would he-

“Moomintroll!”

“Huh- what Snufkin?”

“It’s your move.” 

They were on their fourth chess game of the day, and looking him over, Moomintroll could see that Snufkin was visibly agitated. His feet were tapping and he looked like he would spring up from his chair at any moment. Snufkin’s hands were fidgeting restlessly with his harmonica, and as Moomin looked he lit upon an idea. 

“Teach me to play the harmonica?” he blurted out. 

Snufkin looked startled, and for a minute Moomin was worried he’d overstepped a boundary. The mouth organ  _ was _ Snufkin’s most treasured possession, Moomin could lose it, or damage it, or-

“Okay,” replied Snufkin, jerking Moomin out of his worries. 

“Wait, really?!” 

“Don’t see why not,” Snufkin said, giving a little noncommittal shrug. He walked over to the couch and motioned for Moomin to follow. Moomintroll sat beside him, excited.

“Okay, so you see the little numbers on top of the holes?” Snufkin pointed to the top of the harmonica, and sure enough there were tiny numbers one through ten indented in the metal. Moomintroll nodded. 

“Okay, well those tell you what note you’re playing. To play a classic C, blow out through four” Snufkin said, and he handed Moomin the harmonica.

Moomin was stunned. He hadn’t really thought about how he was gonna play. Still, one would think Snufkin would at least clean it. Moomintroll looked at the harmonica and then back at Snufkin, who gave him an encouraging smile. He didn’t seem to think there was anything unusual going on. Moomintroll took a breath, raised the harmonica to his lips, and blew out hard. The room was filled with a loud, shrill note. Snufkin yelped and covered his ears, and Moomintroll dropped the harmonica like he had been burnt. 

“Oh my booble, Snufkin! I’m so sorry!” 

Snufkin slowly removed his hands and looked up at Moomin. 

“It’s okay,” he said, giving a shaky laugh, “but maybe next time don’t blow so hard. Here, like this,”

And they continued to swap the harmonica back and forth, practicing the hours away. 

-*-*-*-

Back in the privacy of his tent, Snufkin was sure he was going to explode. He didn’t know whether to start hyperventilating, or laugh hysterically, or both. He couldn’t believe he’d just done that! Who knows how many times they had indirectly kissed just then… the whole thing had been terrifying, and exhilarating, and shockingly domestic. But Moomintroll had wanted it, and it was very hard to say no to him, face alight with excitement like that. And anyway, Moomin hadn’t seemed to think it was a big deal, or he wouldn’t have asked. So Snufkin had just played it cool and pretended he wasn’t in a tizzy. 

A whimper pulled him from his thoughts, and his heart wrenched. He wanted to nestle up close to Moomin and reassure him that he wasn’t alone. But he was a Snufkin, and Snufkins don’t cuddle. With anyone. So why should there be any change just for one exception? 

But Moomin cried out again, and Snufkin decided he must do something. So he took out his harmonica and played a lullaby he learned out east, about roads and snow and finding your way. And Moomin had a lovely dream that night, the first in a while, and he dreamt that he and Snufkin were walking through the snow, holding hands and enjoying the silence. 

-*-*-*- 

It was a crisp, cold day, but it didn’t look it. Day, that is. The sky was dark, and light was provided by a single kerosene lamp as Moomintroll and Snufkin sat on the veranda. Moomintroll’s hands shook with chills, and he made an erratic, accidental mark against his sketch. He lifted his charcoal and swore under his breath, which Snufkin pretended not to hear. Snufkin could feel his heart swell with fondness. Moomintroll was clearly cold and frustrated and not enjoying himself, but he was sitting out here anyway because Snufkin wanted to be outside. And he wanted to say something to tell Moomin that he noticed, that he’s grateful, that he wants the world for him, but he didn’t know what words to use. So he sat there, and he thought, until finally he spoke. 

“... thank you.” he said lamely. 

Moomintroll looked up from his drawing, and the scowl slid off his face. “What for?” he enquired. 

“Er. Everything, I suppose.” 

Moomin tilted his head questioningly, and Snufkin fidgeted under his gaze. He loves Moomintroll very much, perhaps a touch more than he should, but sometimes Moomin was dreadfully obtuse. And he always needed things in words! Were deeds not enough? But that didn’t matter. If Moomin needed words, then Snufkin would try. For him. 

“Well, er. You’re sitting out here with me in the cold, and it doesn’t seem very enjoyable,”

“Oh, Snuf, it’s not  _ that  _ bad,” Moomintroll objected, and Snufkin almost rolled his eyes at the way Moomin completely missed the point. 

“But you’re still  _ here _ . You could be inside, waiting for me by the fire, or keeping me in there!” 

Moomintroll looked appalled at that idea, but Snufkin wasn’t finished yet. Once the words started, they kept spilling out. Snufkin felt out of control, and unprotected, but he made no move to stop. There was something exhilarating about how it rather kept tumbling from his mouth. 

“Darn, Moomin, you could be inside  _ hibernating! _ And instead you’re out here with me, the boy who leaves you every winter until you wake up from longing!” Snufkin was shaking now, guilt wracking his bones. 

“Just… why? Why do you do this to yourself?” he finished lamely. 

Moomin was quiet for a good long while. Then he spoke up, “why can’t you see yourself as someone worthy of love?” and he looked almost.. hurt. And then he got up and went to bed, leaving a wordless Snufkin alone on the veranda. Snufkin played his harmonica again that night. 

-*-*-*-

There was a fire roaring in the fireplace, and Snufkin felt at ease in this living room. He didn’t quite know why. Perhaps it was the way the fireplace only lit part of the room, the dark corners giving the illusion of openness. Perhaps it was the way his stomach was filled with jam and [winter fish]. Perhaps it was that he had gone ice fishing yesterday, sitting for hours listening to his harmonica reverberating off the ice. Perhaps it was just that he was  _ so _ tired from playing his harmonica for Moomintroll late into the night, every night. Regardless, he was feeling very cozy. 

“Did I ever tell you about that mister brisk that came by a few years ago?” Moomintroll asked as he drew a cartoon horse

“No, I don’t think so,” Snufkin responded as he mended a torn fishing line. 

“the sportsman?”

“Oh! You mentioned him briefly. You didn’t seem to want to talk about him.” replied Snufkin, looking up from where he was attaching a new hook. 

“Oh, he was the worst!” Moomintroll complained, “he loved discomfort and cold and competition and winning for the sheer sake of winning!” 

Snufkin hummed encouragingly, and Moomintroll continued his tale. 

“He burst in here saying ‘bright and easy, brisk and breezy!’ Mymble junior was quite enamored,” at that Snufkin had to laugh. He loved his sister very dearly, but she could be very hare-brained sometimes. 

“Anyway, he was all ‘gone are the days of leisure!’ and trying to enter us all in winter sports! And when he lost he had to have a match thrown at him to regain his ego!” 

Snufkin wrinkled his nose in disgust, and Moomintroll laughed. Mr. Brisk really was the furthest thing from Snufkin that Moomin could think of. Maybe that was why he hated the man so much. 

“Me too, Snuf. Snorkmaiden really liked him though,” Moomin huffed, only mildly irked by this nowadays. Time and the breakup had washed away most of the residual feelings. “He  _ was _ rather manly though, must have been a nice change of pace for her,” he sighed. 

Snufkin looked at him incredulously, “I would never need a change of pace from you,” Snufkin said seriously. Then the implications of his words seemed to sink in, because he blushed and pulled his hat over his eyes. He wasn’t the only one. Moomintroll could feel his face go warm and hear his heart pounding in his ears. He sat there for a minute, trying to figure out how to respond. 

“Ah, um, thanks,” he answered awkwardly. He mentally punched himself in the face. Nice going, dumbass. Something sour flickered across Snufkin’s face for the briefest of seconds, but it was gone before Moomin could figure out what it was. 

Snufkin looked longingly out the window. He felt silly and stupid, and he wanted more than anything to get out of here. Oh,  _ why _ did he have to open his mouth? The peacefulness of before had been shattered, and the once cozy fire was stifling in this enclosed space. 

-*-*-*-

The days were getting darker, and colder, and Snufkin was getting antsier. He was spending more and more time outside, and less and less time sleeping. And he was still playing his harmonica for Moomintroll every night, sometimes holding his paw if the terrors were particularly bad. But he was very tired, and spring seemed a long, long way away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm now @ragabond on tumblr, feel free to stop by. comments are always appreciated.


	5. Half the World Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo, here we go! Plot time

Early one morning, Moomin awoke to his bedroom window opening and letting in a gust of cold air. He lay very still as Snufkin climbed down the rope ladder and shut the window behind him before he set off through the snow. He was gone most of the day, and by the time he returned with some thin branches and reeds, the sun was setting. He clearly wasn’t able to get very far from Moominhouse, and it was obviously wearing on him. Moomin felt a pang of sympathy. 

Moomin opened the door and walked silently onto the veranda. Snufkin was sitting on the railing, whistling as he whittled at some branches. He turned to look as Moomin approached. His eyes looked a little dull, but he smiled as Moomin drew closer. He bent a branch into a loop and pulled out some string. Moomin realized with a start that Snufkin was making snowshoes. Now that he’d be able to go further away, he’d be out even longer than normal. He might even hike right up the mountain and out of the valley, risky though it would be. Moomin’s heart fell from his chest, and he mentally scolded himself for being so selfish when poor Snufkin had been cooped up indoors for so long. He turned tail and headed into the house. 

-*-*-*-

Snufkin finished wrapping the string of his second snowshoe with satisfaction. Quietly he headed into Moominhouse. Pausing in the kitchen, he wrote a short note in messy scrawl: “Moomin- I’m sorry to leave you like this. But I couldn’t bear to see you cry. I’ll return some time in summer. -Snufkin”. 

He tucked it somewhere Moomin would see, the kitchen sink should do. ThenAnd then he crept up the stairs to pack, gently opening the door to Moomin’s and his bedroom. Kneeling beside his tent, he started to remove the fabric from the poles. When he was all packed, he stood beside Moomin’s bedside one last time, drinking in the sight so he’d have something to remember on his travel. Moomin shifted in his sleep and whimpered, and Snufkin flinched. Then he steeled his brow and turned away to go down the stairs. 

Snufkin was making good time, the snowshoes were really helping. As he neared the top of the mountain, he turned to look back at Moominhouse, squinting in the dark winter night. He thought of Moomintroll, asleep in his bed, warm and safe. He thought of how Moomin would be blissfully unaware that anything had happened. A funny twinge lodged in his chest. He shook his head and kept walking. 

The forest was eerily quiet as Snufkin trudged through it. All the birds had gone south, all the little creeps were asleep, snug in their holes and hovels. Briefly he thought of Teety-Woo. He wondered how he was. Snufkin had never known Moominvalley or the surrounding area to be so quiet, so lonely. No wonder Moomin disliked it so! And now he would be all alone, once again… no matter. Snufkin could not stay in the valley through the winter, and Moomintroll knew that. He tugged his hat down firmly and marched on. 

He had been walking for quite some time, and the silence was getting to him. His breath became shallow, and he looked around with panic at the shadows. He fumbled at his pockets until he grasped his harmonica with shaky fingers. Stopping in the middle of the path, he stared down at the instrument. Who would play for Moomintroll now that he was gone? What of his night terrors, would they return? Shame, guilt, and something unidentifiable but tender pooled in his stomach. He thought of how Moomintroll cried every year when he left, though lately he had been trying not to show it. He thought of Moomin’s shell-shocked face when he would read the letter, blindsided by Snufkin’s low-down and cowardly flight. And he thought of dear, sweet, devoted Moomintroll, tending to him in bed, no doubt expecting nothing in return. He took a deep breath and looked to the path ahead, eyes full of longing. Then he turned on his heel and began the walk back to Moominvalley. 

-*-*-*-

Moomin was having a dream, and it wasn’t a particularly nice one either. He had been hurrying through the forest, struggling on broken snowshoes as he followed a trail of tiny bootprints. A large black bird landed on a branch nearby and started to laugh, a screeching cackle that felt like thorns snagging on his ears. 

“Looking for someone?” it asked mockingly. 

“That’s- oof- none of your business!” Moomin spat, the effect somewhat ruined by the waver of his voice. His breath was frosty and ragged in front of his face. 

“He left, you know.” Moomin didn’t know if birds could leer, but there was really no other word to describe what it was doing. “He’s not coming back.” 

“That’s not true! Snufkin would never!” Moomin cried as the snow started to fall again. The bird let out another jagged laugh.

“Oh but it is, and we both know it,” it taunted, mocking eyes burning a hole in Moomintroll’s skull. 

“ _ You _ would never. You need him” the bird preened under its wing and dropped a bedraggled, bright red feather onto the ground. Around them, the wind started to whip the snow into a frenzy. 

“But he doesn’t need you. And isn’t that beautiful?” 

Moomintroll wanted to open his mouth to tell the bird that no, that wasn’t beautiful at all, but he couldn’t. It was too white. Too loud. The bird’s cackle rang through the woods, but he didn’t know where from. All he could see was white, and cold, and harsh laughter in his ears. He tried to open his mouth to scream, to say anything, but it was too white and too loud and too quiet and empty and full and it was pressing in on him it was all around him and- 

And-

And-

And suddenly he was sitting up in bed, and he was screaming. His breath was shallow as he untangled himself from his blankets. All was calm. All was quiet. Outside, the snow lay serenely on the ground. Snufkin’s tent was still pitched beside his bed. Moomin got up on shaky legs and went to fix himself some coffee, not noticing that Snufkin’s tent was about six inches left of where it had been yesterday. 

Snufkin was sitting in the parlor with coffee in the pink mug, working on a snowshoe as if nothing had happened, but he looked up as soon as he heard Moomintroll’s heavy footsteps, face creased with concern. 

“Moomin?” he asked. 

Moomintroll grunted. “Had a dream about clowns” 

Snufkin pursed his lips and looked at him in a way that seemed almost skeptical, but said nothing, and went back to his snowshoe, pausing occasionally to take a sip from the pink mug in his paw. Briefly Moomin wondered what snowshoe Snufkin was on. He could have sworn snowshoe number two was almost finished yesterday. Never matter, though. There was a more pressing matter. 

“Shit,” Moomintroll muttered as he rooted around in the cupboard. 

“Whatever’s the problem?” Snufkin called out from the other room, mercifully choosing to ignore Moomin’s, erm, tasteful vocabulary. 

“We appear to be out of coffee,” Moomin said, privately disappointed. He could still hear the bird’s harsh laughter rattling around in his ears. 

“Oh.” 

Well, best find some breakfast. 

“You can have mine, then.” 

Moomintroll did a double take, and walked back into the parlor. He gave Snufkin a look-over. His skin looked rather pallid, and there were bags forming under his eyes. He blushed under Moomin’s gaze and held out the pink mug in his hand for Moomintroll. 

“Oh, Snufkin, I couldn’t!” 

Snufkin shook his head. 

“No, it’s yours! I’ll go without.”

He shook his head again, with more insistence this time, “Moomin, take it.” 

Moomintroll sighed and took the mug. Then he went back into the kitchen, and emerged a few moments later with a second mug in his other hand. Snufkin watched quizzically as Moomin poured the coffee, taking great care to make sure the portions were even. Snufkin took the blue mug from Moomintroll. 

“Thank you,” he said in an oddly small voice, like he was shocked by this act of kindness. Like he didn’t deserve it. That broke Moomin’s heart. What had Snufkin done to make him think that? Nothing, that was the saddest part. Moomin took a gulp from the mug in his hand. The two of them sat in companionable but awkward silence until Snufkin finished his snowshoe. Snufkin got up and stretched, paws reaching for empty air, and then went outside. Moomintroll watched him go, watched the candlelight reflect off Snufkin’s messy hair. He felt the fondness swell in his chest as he finished off the dregs in the pink mug. Wait. the  _ pink _ mug. Moomintroll immediately choked on the last gulp of coffee. He coughed furiously, tears prickling at his eyes. As he recovered, he looked to Snufkin’s empty coffee cup. Snufkin hadn’t seemed to notice anything amiss, and Moomin certainly wasn’t fond of the idea of explaining this to him. No, he would take this one to his grave. 

-*-*-*-

Snufkin finished the last snowshoe with satisfaction. This was the second time he’d finished this week, and hopefully he wouldn’t need to do it again. He’d make a better decision this time. A kinder decision. Moomintroll was sitting by the fire eating jam when Snufkin walked through the door. He looked up with a sleepy smile on his face, and oh, what a smile. 

“Hello, Snufkin,” he said, as cheerful as a spring morning, as if Snufkin wasn’t a restless, irritated cat who he was trapped with over the winter. 

Snufkin looked shyly out the window and held out a pair of snowshoes to Moomintroll. Moomin looked at him, confused. “But these are your snowshoes?” 

Snufkin fidgeted and squirmed his toes. “Four of them. I made four of them, that is. So we could walk further.” 

A wide smile spread across Moomintroll’s snout, crinkling in the corners of his eyes. God, Snufkin really didn’t deserve that smile. He didn’t deserve Moomintroll. 

“Oh, Snufkin! I’d love that! How about we’ll go first thing tomorrow?” 

Tomorrow. He had been meaning to go tonight, but he could wait ‘til then. For Moomintroll, he would wait. And for the first time since the sun set for the winter, Moomintroll slept restfully through the night, and Snufkin too. 

-*-*-*-

It was dark when Snufkin awoke. Indeed, it was always dark in these long Moominvalley winters, but right now, in the young morning, it felt even darker than dark. And Snufkin was wide awake, wider than he’d ever been upon waking (which was always very wide). He was excited. He looked at the soft, sleeping snout of Moomintroll, and before he could even register what he was doing, he leant in and- 

He paused, lips hovering mere inches away from Moomintroll’s forehead. What was he doing? He went downstairs to prepare provisions and tried not to think about it. It was maybe 40 minutes later, and he was sitting on the couch in the parlor, waiting for Moomintroll, a small picnic hamper at his feet. Moomintroll came blearily down the stairs, rubbing his eyes. In the light of his handheld lamp, he looked soft and comforting, and Snufkin desperately wished to bury his face in Moomin’s fur, if only for a second. They sat silently in the parlor for a minute, neither wanting to break the fragile quiet.

“Shall we go?” Moomin whispered. He wasn’t sure why he was whispering. It just felt like the right thing to do. Snufkin nodded, and the two of them slipped wordlessly into the dark morning. 

They walked along the river path, and something felt familiar about this route, but Snufkin couldn’t quite put his finger on why. That is, until they found themselves at the bank of the pond Snufkin had fallen into what seemed like forever ago. They both realized at the same time where, exactly, they were. Moomintroll, for his part, looked mortified, but Snufkin found it hilarious. He let out a giggle, softly at first, and then louder as Moomintroll joined in. Eventually Snufkin wiped the corner of his eye and flopped down onto the bank. He patted the bank beside him, and Moomintroll sat beside him without hesitation. They sat there for a minute as the last dregs of laughter faded, looking into the gas lamp, and then Snufkin spoke up. 

“Of anyone to be snowed in with, I’m glad it’s you Moomin.” 

“Oh, um, thank you.” Moomintroll stuttered, clearly caught off guard, “I just wish you weren’t snowed in at all,” 

Snufkin thought about a few nights ago, how he had almost left, and how he currently wasn’t really snowed in at all. He said nothing. 

“It’s not so bad, really,” he finally replied, but he suspected Moomintroll didn’t believe him. 

Moomin opened his mouth to say something, but before he could utter a word, a ghastly howl split the air. It sounded painful, and vaguely familiar. Moomintroll, on the other hand, seemed to recognize it instantly, and judging by the look on his face, it couldn’t be good. 

“Moomin, what was-“ Another howl drowned out the rest of his sentence. He shivered. Was he scared? Was it getting colder? 

“Oh. Oh no. Shit,” Moomintroll uttered. 

“Moomintroll?” Snufkin could hear a note of panic rising in his own voice. What was going on?!?

“She’s here,” 

“Who?” Who was here?!? It was definitely colder now… oh. Oh no. 

“The groke.” Moomintroll said gravely. Around them, the wind started to pick up, and Snufkin instinctively reached out in Moomin’s direction as his other paw flew up to his hat. Moomin also moved as if to grab Snufkin’s paw, and both of them paused, apprehensive of affection even in this moment of fear. 

“Blast it,” Snufkin thought, and reached out and gave Moomin’s paw a quick, reassuring squeeze. Had this been any other situation, his cheeks would surely have heated, but just now he was far too cold. Heavy, burdened footsteps approached the pair. And suddenly she was upon them, black and terrible. Snufkin could feel his heart beating faster, but he couldn’t seem to look away. Her cold, wild eyes were trained on the gas lamp. 

Moomin must have seen it too, because he quickly hissed “Snufkin! The lamp!” 

Slowly, cautiously, Snufkin reached for the lamp with shaky paws. But as his paw was on the knob, she let out another howl. Only… it wasn’t a howl at all. It never was, he realized. It was a cry. He paused. 

“Snufkin, hurry!” Moomintroll whispered urgently. 

He knew that a traveler as seasoned as him surely should be more jaded, more cynical. It simply wasn’t safe to be otherwise. every time, he promised himself that next time, he would be smarter about this. And every time, that naive, childish part of him that just wanted to help everyone would jump out. Maybe it was all this time spent in Moominvalley, it had made him soft. That was probably a bad thing. But still, he secretly thought that Moomintroll would be glad of it. Just… maybe not this time. 

He held out the lamp. 

Everything next happened so fast. He could see Moomin’s wide, panicked eyes beside him. The groke let out a delighted yowl and reached for the lamp. She reached out for the light. As she touched the lamp, the hot glass froze instantly. The sudden temperature change proved to be too much. The lamp exploded, tiny glass shrapnel flying everywhere. Snufkin was frozen in shock, but Moomin reacted instantly. He barreled into Snufkin with a shout, tackling him to the ground. The metal base of the lamp flew from Snufkin’s hand, landing in the snow and extinguishing with a small hiss. The groke let out a desperate wail and lunged forward, but it was too late. The light, the warmth, was gone. Moomin leapt off of Snufkin and sprung to his feet. 

“Leave him alone!” he shouted at the groke, waving his arms wildly. She gave one long, forlorn howl, then lumbered back off into the woods. 

Snufkin slowly got to his feet, stunned, and brushed the glass off of his coat. Moomin whirled around to face him. 

“Snufkin,” he cried, “what  _ were _ you doing?!?”

Snufkin bristled. Who was Moomin to lecture him on acts of reckless kindness?!? It was he who had rubbed off on Snufkin, now he had glass in his hat! But then Snufkin looked closer, and he could see the tears prickling up in Moomin’s eyes. Snufkin’s anger deflated like a balloon. He hadn’t meant to hurt Moomin. 

“I… I thought I could help.” 

Moomintroll gave a weary sigh, and in a voice that suggested he’d been there before, he said, “you can’t save everyone, Snufkin.” 

Snufkin didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t. He felt lost, being the one on the receiving end of the advice for once. He felt small, silly, and confused. Moomintroll gave a tired smile, and the two of them began the walk back to Moominhouse, just them and the empty night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating, life has been really busy lately and I haven't had much time to write.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feel free to come scream at me about moomins on tumblr at @3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat!


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